My Writing:, Personal

The Battle Between Fantasy and Reality

It’s been a couple of weeks since my last post. Some readers might think I’ve deserted this website. I haven’t. Regular readers have probably wandered off to find more interesting (and active) blogs to read. That’s fine.

I guess the question on everyone’s lips (if, indeed, anyone still visits) would probably be “is she really going to give up writing?” If I had to answer that, I’d have to say “more than likely”. But that isn’t a definite answer, is it?

Having written that, I find myself sitting and pondering my own words – “more than likely”. I feel nothing when I say that. No fear. No loss. No desire. Nothing. After all those years of writing, I would expect to feel something…sadness, at least…but I feel nothing. I still have no desire to write. I don’t have stories or characters running around in my mind and it’s peaceful. I like it.

I’ve had a few people urge me to turn my attention back to the plans I had for Suicide: A Mother’s Story. They feel it’s a project that needs to be written. It is a topic that is worthwhile and as suicide is on the increase, it needs to be published and people of all ages need to be aware of the signs and dangers. One person even went as far as to say that my personality isn’t suited to writing fantasy stories. They said I’m a practical person who works systematically and has a rather black and white thought pattern. It might sound like a bit of an insult, but I have to admit it’s true.

Maybe this person is right. Maybe I’m ready to move on from make believe and find a place in reality. I can actually see the sense in that as it fits with what I’ve written in earlier posts about need and desire.

Thing is, when I think of Suicide: A Mother’s Story I think of a huge project, filled with emotion, which is daunting. I can face the emotion; it’s a necessary part of such a manuscript. Without it, the words would mean nothing. That’s not the problem. Writing about what happened isn’t a problem either. I’ve already done that and for this project all I have to do is expand on that. It’s the suicide awareness part of the project that feels really daunting. I can’t stand the thought of giving false information and that is the main thing that is stopping me from returning to the project. The other thing is the fact that for me to tell my story I have to refer to the other people involved and … well, that is worrying me also.

Anyway, when I look at my words – “more than likely” – again, it seems that I might be saying that it’s more than likely that I’m finished with fantasy. Has reality finally won the battle?

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8 thoughts on “The Battle Between Fantasy and Reality”

  1. It is a tough decision, but then again if writing is something you no longer feel any desire to do why would you continue?

    Part of the problem is the labels we attach to ourselves, having said you’re a writer for so long, to now stop writing might seem like you’re giving up a part of your identity, but it’s okay to change, it’s okay to do and be other things, a lifetime is a long time and you can do or be as many things as you choose.

    I wish you the best whatever you decide to do, Karen.

  2. I must agree with the other two. This is not an easy thing to decide, but I think that if you are not feeling driven to write then maybe it is time to step away, at least for the moment. If another type of writing is calling you then again go for it, but don’t rush into something just because your holding onto that “Writer” title.

    My final advice would be to continue what you are doing. Think your options over and ask for friends for their advice and support. We will give either depending on what you need and regardless of what you decide.

  3. Change is good and even if you give up writing fiction or fantasy for now doesn’t mean you will never do it again, even if you are “giving it up forever.” If you do have a story to tell, it will come out I suppose.

  4. I think the suicide book could be a very cathartic process for you, Karen, and well worth your effort. And like others have said, you may move away from fiction and fantasy now, but perhaps not forever. Follow your heart.

  5. Having read your fantasy stories, I completely disagree. You are more than capable of writing Fantasy. – If you choose. Which is the real question and your freedom. I would just say, don’t let this be the deciding factor.

    If the time were right to write Fantasy again, you’ll know it.

    Until then… follow your muse…

  6. In my opinion, you are a born writer of both fiction and non-fiction. What is more, you are someone who has inspired me to keep on going with my writing even through difficult times. You’ve been my writing role model!! I think you need to take the pressure off yourself. You don’t need to make a decision about this, especially not now. My advice would be to make a list of things you really want to do – maybe these will be writing-related, maybe they won’t – and take it from there. If you decide not to do writing-related projects for the time being, it doesn’t mean you won’t come back to writing in a year or even ten years’ time. I believe that whatever you decide to do, you will succeed.

  7. Thank you, everyone, for you constant support and encouragement. You are true friends and I appreciate everything you’ve said to me in your comments on this post and in the past.

    You inspire me. I mean it. You inspire me to do the best I can, at whatever I do…not just writing. Thank you for that.

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